I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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