He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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