New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
