i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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