You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
