You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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