bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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