Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
