I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
