if you like me you must not know who I am
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
