You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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