I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
