Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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