she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's blow job season.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
