Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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