For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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