Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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