Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)

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(636): View more from Missouri

she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(585): View more from New York

You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."

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(716): View more from New York

Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor

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(574): View more from Indiana

Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(

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