Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

haha what'd she say

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF

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(215): dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up (412): haha what'd she say (215): i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF http://tfl.nu/bkrp

Replies (30) Good night (2209) Bad night (932)
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(512): View more from Texas

he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.

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(512): he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak. http://tfl.nu/trp5

Replies (151) Good night (1029) Bad night (4301)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.

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(781): Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital. http://tfl.nu/82nh

Replies (62) Good night (4644) Bad night (1186)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.

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(828): Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico. http://tfl.nu/ifni

Replies (32) Good night (6397) Bad night (1679)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.

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(919): We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash. http://tfl.nu/pn5n

Replies (31) Good night (5850) Bad night (1586)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.

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(919): i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving. http://tfl.nu/oull

Replies (26) Good night (7912) Bad night (2072)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."

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(330): Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control." http://tfl.nu/dz9s

Replies (12) Good night (1693) Bad night (618)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay

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(262): Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay http://tfl.nu/pdwa

Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (1958)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.

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(724): You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking. http://tfl.nu/bbzn

Replies (2) Good night (1031) Bad night (468)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?

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(301): Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours? http://tfl.nu/n62u

Replies (4) Good night (1304) Bad night (519)
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(520): View more from Arizona

I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.

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(520): I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now. http://tfl.nu/zshk

Replies (8) Good night (903) Bad night (441)
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(845): View more from New York

Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands

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(845): Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands http://tfl.nu/8ta4

Replies (6) Good night (1430) Bad night (444)
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(954): View more from Florida

Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?

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(954): Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over? http://tfl.nu/e816

Replies (12) Good night (845) Bad night (1352)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.

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(307): I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it. http://tfl.nu/nkno

Replies (4) Good night (354) Bad night (971)
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(415): View more from California

I have a present for you

(415): View more from California

Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked

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(415): I have a present for you (415): Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked http://tfl.nu/cd6u

Replies (6) Good night (958) Bad night (239)

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