im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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