hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Randomize
