Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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