Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
