Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
