ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
