i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
