I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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