You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
