I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
