What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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