you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize