I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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