I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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