I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
