nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
