Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
