Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
