was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
