It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
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new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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