it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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