So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
