R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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