Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's never too late to be topless.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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