Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
