i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
