Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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