also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
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Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
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This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
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