The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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