Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
