Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
