Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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