I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
