Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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