I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
