Can i not drive my cunt home
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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