The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wannas sexs uuuuu
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Randomize
