i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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