i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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