It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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